if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
