im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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