You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize