Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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