Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
