Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
