hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
