I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
