They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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