what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
