margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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