Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
