so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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