So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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