i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
