In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
