I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
