I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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