Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
