I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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