at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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