this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
