Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
