No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize