I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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