Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
