i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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