I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
