I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
