He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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