4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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