eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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