Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
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