Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
