I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
