would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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