If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
