You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
