News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sext me about skeletons
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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