I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have aggressive nipples.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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