Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
