Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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