Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
