I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize