Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
