you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize