Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
