I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
