and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
