She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
