how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
