So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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