I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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