Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
