College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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