I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
