I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
