I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
