If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
